Back and there again-Part 2

Arrival in Oakville was welcome, after a torturous drive and a reminder of how of touch I was with Toronto traffic. In the short years I had been away the traffic seemed to double as the roads shrank and crumbled beneath the load. What was unsupportable in the past was becoming unusable, and Canada’s biggest city had no where to grow.

A reunion four or more years in the making, I knocked on the door of Erika and Mike, old friends and artists. I had met Erika over 10(!) years earlier, soon after moving to Toronto in 1995. She was student of Sheraton college and had answered a personal ad I had placed in a strange but wonderful thing called a “newspaper”. The internet was new. And it was dial-up. And it was AWESOME.

I referenced the comic “The Tick” in the ad, she got the reference immediately and a friendship was born. As years passed and I moved from girlfriend to girlfriend, I also moved farther and farther away from the downtown core of the city. What had been a 30 min drive in the late 90’s became a 1 hour drive in the mid 00’s and ended up a 1.5 hour drive at the end of the decade. By the time I left Ontario, time and distance had grown and I hadn’t seen either of them in years.

Without a plan, I arrived at their doorstep and was offered a place to sleep, invited out to dinner. It was as if time had stopped years ago and we slipped into comfortable conversation over fantastic food.

I have always been self-involved and easily distracted, more comfortable as an island and more likely to lose contact with people. Every reunion makes me ache to be a better friend but eventually old habits and bad communication sets in. I regret few things in my life, but I have always regretted not working harder at being a friend. Not spending more time outside this bubble of pyschobabble that darkens my thoughts. Part of me wonders if I don’t value my relationships more because I don’t value myself at all.

Erika and Mike were and continue to be great friends and generous hosts. We keep in touch via twitter, and I am constantly amazed by the raw talent on display between them. Creative and passionate, they work hard to do what they love.

Morning came too soon, as I had at least one cat sitting on my chest when I awoke. Erika left for work, and I hung out with Mike for a bit before heading back into the city, to make a lunch date with two more old friends.